I am bold, but yet completely afraid of rejection. Paradox, I know, but we established all that at the beginning…I am a mad mix of everything opposite.
This is what has kept me away from writing for so long. This fear has kept me from sharing anything at all (except blog posts!) with anyone. I don’t know why I am like this. The people around me in my life now are the most supportive and encouraging, and yet, I still can’t find the courage to just release my words to someone who will judge them.
My daughter. She is resilient. I am in awe of this aspect of her personality.
The other day, she walked up to a little boy at a party and told him (with her gorgeous smile), “Hello. Do you want to be my friend? I can be your friend, if you like.” No fear that this little boy was going to reject her at all. No shyness or worry. No nothing. Just a pure offering of herself in friendship because she really believes that she is a good friend. I can’t even do that at thirty three years old!
Another day, she said to me after nursery, “Mamma, we have to see Nicholas soon. I really think he is missing me.” She just assumes her importance in the world and her importance to people and I think it is something to learn from. She values herself and what she has to give to herself, her friends and her family.
I know this is all innocent toddler talk, but there is something in it that I have forgotten along the way. I would like to learn again the resilience I have tried to nurture in her.
And also, she thinks she is magic when she wears her fairy wings.
Maybe I need a pair of my own…..